Confessions from the heart

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

one useful thing out of this class

When I ask you to listen to me,

And you start giving me advice,

You have not done what I asked.

When I ask that you listen to me,

And you begin to tell me that I shouldn't feel that way,

You are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me,

And you feel you have to do something to solve my problems,

You have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen; all I ask that you do is listen,

Not talk or do - just hear me.

When you do something for me,

That I need to do for myself,

You contribute to my fear and feelings of inadequacy.

But when you accept as a simple fact

That I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational,

Then I can quit trying to convince you,

And go about the business

Of understanding what's behind my feelings.

So, please just listen and hear me

And, if you want to talk,

Wait a minute for your turn - and I'll listen to you.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

no time for anything

i can't believe its been so long since i vented on this

entering april

what a month. so busy don't even know where to begin.

oh and... reading old blogs stir old memories.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

rub salt in the wound why don't ya

:(

there are no words right now.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

why do things annoy me?

i have come to the conclusion ... that the littlest things can be extremely annoying.

take for example... coming home from an exam, wanting nothing but to sleep after cramming all night ... and yet roommates' incessant LOUD talking... ANNOYING

LOUD phone conversations just outside my room door (which if you've seen my room... tiny a lil box) this too .... ANNOYING

channel flipping ... when there is already a good show on ... ANNOYING

best friend not talking to you for days and then asking you what was on an exam that she's writing the make up for............. ANNOYING

chalk it up to hormones... or God knows what else ... ugh

Saturday, February 11, 2006

lets talk

today's horoscope:

"It's easier to appreciate the gift of life when all is going smoothly, but that enlightened perspective gets easily lost when we find ourselves swamped by hard times. Keep sight of the beauty and magic that exists in your world. They will lead you to the success you so richly deserve. "

I am now slowly repairing a torn relationship, and learning that its hard to accept that some things just are, or just aren't. No explanation, just acceptance.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

focus on the positive

hmm

i'm alive, i have friends and family who love and care about me.

right now i'm going to remember this and be thankful... b/c other than this nothing else is going right, nothing. and i really don't feel like throwing a self-pity party ... i am grateful for what i do have

Monday, February 06, 2006

sometimes you can't go back

sometimes we just need closure, we need to have answers to our questions, we need to know where we went wrong, what happened, and why...

i finally got that, well maybe a part of it. 2 hrs of fighting, well not real fighting but unpleasant dealing with issues... and i can honestly say i'm still as confused as ever, but at least maybe now I can put this all behind me. I realize now more than ever that sometimes things just don't work out because of circumstances. Everything's always changing.

In my own words, i am f*cked up. my head, my emotions, have been toyed with and there's really not much i can do. It used to be that I just never opened up, add to that .. now I no longer trust. I'm not pitying myself, I do take part of the blame ..

the saddest realization from all of this...... sometimes you just can't go back